Monday, August 22, 2011

Richy McRich Riches

 Today the Raptor's treated themselves to a home game against the Richmond Luxury (1-1), which have the highest-paid players in the game. The team is so far in debt, that it is actually in worse debt than the U.S. government. Richmond bought-out the whole stadium so any of their fans could show up for free if they wanted to. I couldn't tell how many showed up, no one was in the stands. I assume they were all in the luxury boxes. Wow that's punny. Anyway, let's get to the game. It started out with a very very rare thing that almost never happens in the league, ever. I mean Sasquatch has been seen more times than this, that's how rare it is. Ivan Anseli actually MISSED a goal. After further research I found out that there was a chemical spill during practice yesterday and it got into his eyes, he is now illegally blind. The rules state that no blind players are allowed to play because it is an unfair advantage to that player's team. But since Ivan Anseli is the deadliest player alive, the refs let it slide. He soon made up for the miss after decapitating the goalie then scoring 8 times. There was a lot of back and forth action this game.  Wienczyslaw Wenczeslaw had his best game of the season, with 1289 saves and only 4 goals allowed. Raptors win 76-4. Today's match-up between the Milwaukee Titans and the Omaha Boars has been postponed to tomorrow due to alien invasion. The standings will be updated after that game is finished tomorrow. 


                                      Keep the faith my fellow Raptors,
                                                                                          Ryan.

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