We here at Prehistoric Domination have been fortunate enough to get an interview with Red Raptor starting right flank Jason Schlek. Here's how it went down, yo.
Q: First question, what's the secret to your soufflè of death?
A: Lot's of love.
Q: Who inspired you most growing up?
A: Not Cody McDonald.
Q: Who is your number one fan?
A: Fan? You mean stalker? Cause that is Justine Cota.
Q: What's your favorite game that you've played in this season?
A: NBA finals, game 3, Miami. I was on fire.
Q: What's your favorite type of goal?
A: The behind the back between the legs triple axle bicycle goal.
Q: What do you do to get ready before a big game?
A: Your mother.
Q: Do you even know my mother?
A: Do you know your father?
Q: That was uncalled for.
A: I ask the questions now.
(At this point, Jason Schlek punched me in the face and took the mic)
Q: Am I your favorite player?
A: Of course.
Q: Who is your least favorite player?
A: That would have to be Justine Cota of the McMurdo Station Wild Burros.
Q: What's your favorite goal of mine?
A: That game-winning 3 pointer in the NBA Finals.
Q: Oh I know right?
A: Fo' sho'
A: Can I have the mic back now?
Q: No!?
A: Really?
Q: No, here you go. (hands me the mic)
Q: What's your favorite song to listen to before a game?
A: Chocolate Rain by Tay Zonday. Gotta represent.
Q: Final question, any predictions for the rest of the season?
A: Nope.
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